The thing about social media is that it makes people who hardly know each other think that they are close friends.
About two years ago I had brief encounter with Mr. G through work. He was a man of few words. Therefore, we hardly spoke. Two or three meetings later, he “friended” me on Facebook.
Like most ordinary Facebook friends, Mr G would “like” and “comment” my on posts. Late last year, one of my posts on Facebook read: “Furniture bought from IKEA are still lying around in their boxes at home. Anyone would be kind enough to loan me a drill?”
A couple of minutes later, I received a message from Mr. G saying that he would not loan me the drill, instead, he would help me install the shelves if I bought him dinner. It seemed like a good deal (although we hardly knew each other).
A week later, upon my invitation, Mr G showed up at my apartment in his seasoned black polo neck t-shirt, old dress pants and his big drill. His greeting to me was, “This is the most unique FIRST DATE I have ever been on!”
Trying to recall between having been asked or invited Mr G on a date, I blurted my clumsy “hello, long time no see”.
A couple of awkward minutes later, I described to Mr G what needed to be done with the shelves and rails and hooks. He started drilling while I left the apartment to buy drinks for the two of us.
When I returned, sweaty Mr G broke disappointing news to me. The drill bit could not penetrate the walls. An industrial drill was required. Nevertheless, I offered to buy him dinner to thank him for his effort and kind gesture.
We agreed to carpool – in his car. He said, “Let’s go somewhere nice…in my car. First, let me check if my car stank because I know that you like nice stuff and I’d hate to spoil this FIRST DATE”.
Before I could say anything, he got into his Proton Saga and performed what looked like a ritual of fumigating his car with an entire can of Glade air freshener to ward off the evil doings of odor causing bacteria?
I almost fainted watching him. Reluctantly I got into the passenger seat and said to Mr. G, “Let’s go somewhere near. I am having a headache”.
An awkward dinner at a nearby fast food restaurant, a sorry excuse for skipping dessert and Mr G’s three mentions of the cryptic “FIRST DATE” later, I called it a day.
As if the spray can and mentions of the mysterious “FIRST DATE” have not done enough damage to the evening, Mr G who went to the autopay machine to validate the parking ticket came back RUNNING – literally (with eager beaver expression on his face) – to where I was waiting!!
We drove home in silence and I promised never to be in touch again.