The Facebook Guy Who Drills and Sprays

9 Oct

The thing about social media is that it makes people who hardly know each other think that they are close friends.

About two years ago I had brief encounter with Mr. G through work. He was a man of few words. Therefore, we hardly spoke. Two or three meetings later, he “friended” me on Facebook.

Like most ordinary Facebook friends, Mr G would “like” and “comment” my on posts. Late last year, one of my posts on Facebook read: “Furniture bought from IKEA are still lying around in their boxes at home. Anyone would be kind enough to loan me a drill?”

A couple of minutes later, I received a message from Mr. G saying that he would not loan me the drill, instead, he would help me install the shelves if I bought him dinner. It seemed like a good deal (although we hardly knew each other).

A week later, upon my invitation, Mr G showed up at my apartment in his seasoned black polo neck t-shirt, old dress pants and his big drill. His greeting to me was, “This is the most unique FIRST DATE I have ever been on!”

Trying to recall between having been asked or invited Mr G on a date, I blurted my clumsy “hello, long time no see”.

A couple of awkward minutes later, I described to Mr G what needed to be done with the shelves and rails and hooks. He started drilling while I left the apartment to buy drinks for the two of us.

When I returned, sweaty Mr G broke disappointing news to me. The drill bit could not penetrate the walls. An industrial drill was required. Nevertheless, I offered to buy him dinner to thank him for his effort and kind gesture.

We agreed to carpool – in his car. He said, “Let’s go somewhere nice…in my car. First, let me check if my car stank because I know that you like nice stuff and I’d hate to spoil this FIRST DATE”.

Before I could say anything, he got into his Proton Saga and performed what looked like a ritual of fumigating his car with an entire can of Glade air freshener to ward off the evil doings of odor causing bacteria?

I almost fainted watching him. Reluctantly I got into the passenger seat and said to Mr. G, “Let’s go somewhere near. I am having a headache”.

An awkward dinner at a nearby fast food restaurant, a sorry excuse for skipping dessert and Mr G’s three mentions of the cryptic “FIRST DATE” later, I called it a day.

As if the spray can and mentions of the mysterious “FIRST DATE” have not done enough damage to the evening, Mr G who went to the autopay machine to validate the parking ticket came back RUNNING – literally (with eager beaver expression on his face) – to where I was waiting!!

We drove home in silence and I promised never to be in touch again.

Would you BE interested? I hope NOT

4 Jul

Here’s a post that everyone can benefit from. I have just received a Facebook message from a fraudster (very likely).

The content…

Anyone of you would consider responding if you have received this? I hope not… Most fraudsters will tell you tragic stories about divorce/dead wife, orphaned children and they are normally businessman (they are in the business of cheating people).

I am single but not necessarily available

7 Jun

Warning: The following content may be offensive or without merit. Read at your own risk.

Yes, I am single… but am I available? It really depends…

Depends on what? Depends on whether (or not) I want to be available.

Seriously, I am single, but that DOES NOT mean that I am available. Not to every man at least. Well, in a nutshell, being single means I am alone. But does that mean that I am lonely? NO! Life is short. We only have 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year… While I am posting this, almost half of 2011 is GONE! The truth is, I DON’T have that much time to be lonely enough to want to be available to every man I cross path with! I have family and friends to share my time with, and I am one of those who needs A LOT of down time on my own.

I have been asked many times, what does it take to make me want to be available? Well… let’s see, I’ll definitely BE available if you are the Barack Obama type… But that will only happen to Michelle Obama… So, I’ve got to lower my standards. OK, I will be available if you are Mr. Big from Sex and the City… Fine, I do realise that that will ONLY happen in Sex and the City, where Carrie Bradshaw is not Carrie Blueshoes and Samantha Jones is not Samantha Jade!

Nevertheless, I am still seeking my very own Mr. Big… and my Mr. Big has a big heart and a good career (not job). He is also financially sound, looks good in my eyes, speaks well and exudes that somewhat authoritative air. He is definitely not a slob!

Guys, if you are reading this, don’t you just hate me already? Don’t hate me just yet! I have noticed, many times, that even an ugly, sloppy dude with oily face who has only RM10 to his name would have enough cheek to hit on hot girls… So, a girl could dream right?

Well, I am shallow for saying all that… But, that’s me, and in my mind, I am just being practical for  wanting to be available only to my potential Mr. Bigs — the man who will build me my walk-in closet (and fill it with nice clothes and shoes). I do not like being hit on by just any random bloke… So, if my version of Mr. Big shall remain as part of my dream, I can accept that, at least I have wonderful dream and when I wake up, I have a relatively good life.

A bitter man is NOT a better man… Duh?

11 May

Updating my list of date-worthy men… How many do I have left on the list? “0”. NADA! So, the thrill of seeking continues because I can. I would like to enjoy the process of finding my very own “Mr. Big”. Why? Because, the “potential” Mr. Bigs come in many types and forms… and I quite like the colours they bring into my single days!

The last person who tried hitting on me (or at least I thought he was) did not quite made it into the list. Let’s now call him Mr. Bitterman.

I met Mr. Bitterman some time ago while I was on a nature  “retreat” with my niece at Melawati Nature Park in Kuala Selangor. He was a single father, broken and bitter. He had two boisterous boys who looked to be about seven and nine-year-old. Thinking that we may have something in common (single-parenthood) when he spotted me with my three-year-old niece (who could not seem to stop yakking), he started chatting me up.

When he found out that the little Ms. Chatty was actually not my daughter, our conversation went this way:

Mr. Bitterman: I bet it sucks to be in your shoes right now! It must feel like SHIT!

Carrie Blueshoes: Erm, why did you think so?

Mr. Bitterman: Well… I bet her parents can’t wait to get rid of her, so they dumped her with you!

Carrie Blueshoes: Well, I don’t think so. I love spending time with her actually. She is really adorable. Hence, I volunteered to take her with me.

Mr. Bitterman: Well… Lucky you… Or rather lucky parents she has to have you! I can understand what it is like raising kids! I have TWO myself and I literally raised them alone! Their mother left them when my second son was only 20 weeks old!

YES, he said all that — and more — in the presence of the boys! Hoping that he would change the topic, I chose not to respond. Yet, he went on about how difficult it was to raise the kids. How insensitive!

A bitter man definitely cannot be the “Mr. Big” who is going to build me my walk-in closet. I walked away before he could ask for my number. Well, I would have entertained him if he was one of those kind and nurturing type. But… He was BITTER! Why else would he have said, “Their mother left them when my second son was only 20 weeks old,” in front of his kids? Plus, it was very obvious — from the kids’ expressions that they were not comfortable with the topic. It wasn’t the kids’ fault that the ex-wife left? If the ex-wife was really the heartless b*&$# that he made her up to be, it was (HIS) bad luck that he married her. He chose wrong. But it was a choice he made in the first place, not the kids’. It’s not even as if the ex-wife had them before he married her. So isn’t it his responsibility as a father to love and raise them anyway (with or without a wife)? Him saying, “THEIR mother left THEM” made it sound like as if he thinks it was the kids’ fault and he had nothing to do with the woman! Poor kids!

If he cries in public… DITCH him!

10 May

So, I have sort of abandoned this blog for a while… Hey, but it is only so often that a single girl (in her late twenties) who is establishing herself in the corporate world, gets to go on dates, no? Oh well, what did Carrie Bradshaw say? “It’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes — that’s why you sometimes need really special shoes!” I would like to think that Carrie Blueshoes is that special pair of shoes!

“There are only two reasons for a man to cry. First, when there is a death in his family. Second, when his wife gives birth. Any other reasons, he is a sissy!” ~Samantha Jade, 2011~

Okay… Let’s not steer too far away from the topic in hand — and I am really good at side-tracking (Yes, I am Aquarius. A very typical one!) Back to the topic… Ditch him if he is the type who cries in public! To quote my good friend Samantha Jade, “There are only TWO reasons for a man to cry. First is if there is a death in the family. Second is when his wife gives birth. Any other reasons, he is a sissy!”.

I did not go on a date with a cry baby but Samantha Jade and I spotted someone who did at dinner just then! The couple, who looked to be in their late 40’s — at the table next to ours — were in the middle of a lover’s quarrel. We did not eavesdrop… but when something as interesting as this happens, you can’t help but “observe”!

The man said, “Every time you go out and I want to go along, you’d say no”.

Woman answered, “You are getting too demanding.”

Silence followed for a while and the man started covering his face with his palms… A few seconds later, he lifted his palms. He was crying! He later took a piece of paper towel to dry his tears…

The couple got up and walked away together, leaving two very puzzled observers at the restaurant. Why was she still with him?

I am NOT really a bitch. I just act like one sometimes

27 Mar

Sometimes a girl would act like a complete bitch just to get rid of unnecessary attention from a guy. This normally happens when she is uncomfortable with the attention she is getting from the guy.

OK, what I am about to share here relates to a rather unusual “friendship” I have developed with a certain nice geek I met at the ATM over two years ago. My close friends have all heard about this story three thousand times. Some thought that the nice geek from ATM is a complete freak and some thought that he is really sweet and worth getting to know… My thoughts, well, I am feeling rather uncomfortable about this “friendship” and hope that he backs off.

Anyway, for the benefit of those of you who actually care to read this blog (not that you would gain anything really insightful from here), I am retelling this story. Why? Because the nice geek from ATM has been calling my cellphone rather persistently over 2 years and I have not been answering most of the calls! The last time he rang was 3 days ago! He definitely deserves a mention in this blog, no?

Flashback –> I was living in Bukit Antarabangsa then and was at Subang Skypark for work. It was close to dinner time and I needed money to buy dinner and to go home (I needed to pay tol) and my purse was literally empty. I went to the ATM. However, just my luck, the ATM went out of order as soon as I inserted my ATM card into the slot! I turned around and saw him! He was not very tall, thin — well, kinda skinny, bespectacled, and most importantly he looked like a kind soul! The kind who WOULD NOT turn down the call of help from a damsel in distress?

Next, I asked the nice geek from ATM if he could give me a loan of RM10. He fumbled for a while and very awkwardly fished out RM10 from his wallet. Believing that he was a good person, I asked, “Erm… would you also mind buying me dinner?” His response? “SURE!”. Woohoo! Lucky me! (No, I don’t carry credit cards anymore. Those plastic cards were invented to lure weaklings like me into the world of debts!)

So… we proceeded to dinner at Sakura restaurant… rather awkwardly! We made a few rather awkward conversations on topics that I could not even recall now — but I do still remember (vaguely) him sharing certain details about electronic toothbrushes and how sensitive his gum was! Eeu! Anyway, still believing that he was a nice and kind person, I asked if he had a GF and he said no. No, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t at all interested. He was just not my type. Seriously, NOT my type. My intention was good. I wanted to introduce him to a girl friend of mine who happened to be single! Why waste kind souls like him rite? Pass him to your friend if you are not interested — or so I thought!!!

After dinner, he asked if I would like to have coffee. So I thought, why not? He has been kind enough to help me after all. What was another 30 minutes with him? Nevertheless, I was pretty sure and am still convinced that he didn’t have much cash on him that night. He paid for dinner and coffee with credit card. How sweet of him right? So, we exchanged numbers before we parted.

The next day, he called and asked if we could meet up but I was busy… PLUS I wanted my girl friend to come along so that I could introduce them to each other and she was also busy. He had also turned down my offer to return his money on two occasions by saying that it would give me “an excuse to buy him dinner”!

He rang more frequently ever since and I started feeling uncomfortable about the phone calls, so I decided to ignore the calls… This has been going on for over TWO years! Talk about persistency! He even “conned” me into answering his call by ringing with an unregistered number about 3 months ago! Sounds scary?

What did he want? Dinner of course! However, I turned him down by saying that “I have made plans to spend time with my (non-existent) “BF” because he has just returned from overseas and I have not seen him in two weeks”. The nice geek from ATM stopped calling for a while after that… but the calls started again recently… *SIGH*! Well, what should I do? I can’t and won’t have dinner with him. It would be pretty awkward. What would a girl talk about with a guy she has been avoiding for over two years? I can’t tell him that I have been busy… Every day? For TWO YEARS?

Carrie Blueshoes is born!

10 Mar

Perpetually single; open-minded girl looking for love, but not-so-seriously; multifaceted on-again-off-again kind of relationships; all the descriptions above describe Carrie Bradshaw… Or ME, a small town girl who knew that I wanted more!

Like many young women, I do see a lot of Carrie Bradshaw in myself. Of course, there are things about her that I could only wish I had — eg. the many pairs of Manolo Blahniks, the many labels that best describe her style, the luxurious lifestyle — but being a working adult establishing myself in the corporate world, striving to strike a work-life balance and finding love (and having fun in the process) in a big city are also… so Carrie Bradshaw! Don’t you think?

Taking into account both my moments of happiness and loneliness in my independence, and thinking about the many men and their own quirks that I have met in looking for my very own “Mr Big”, it suddenly sunk into me that I actually do not mind being single for a couple more years! In fact I think life as a single modern-working woman is colourful and most certainly fun! I would like this blog to be an attestation to that. Hence Carrie Blueshoes–the lower maintenance version of Carrie Bradshaw is born!

The first mission that I will be putting myself on is going SPEED DATING! My friend(s) Samantha Jade and possibly Miranda Help (and Charlotte Yesterday) will be joining me. We will be on the lookout for quirky instances that take place at the event to blog about. Can’t wait!

P.S : Let me know if you hear of any speed dating events in town!